


Rest For A Helper

by FangirlFiles



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: College AU, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, The Glasses Gays, logicality - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 14:42:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13743129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangirlFiles/pseuds/FangirlFiles
Summary: College! AU. Patton is a helper, and he loves it. Sometimes, however, it all gets to be too much. He goes to Logan for help, and gets a little more than he was expecting.





	Rest For A Helper

Patton is a helper. He has always known this. It’s something that he’s incredibly proud of, something that he wouldn’t trade for anything. It makes him feel important and special, like he’s contributing something of value to the world. He lives for the change in mood that he senses in people when he manages to find the right thing to say. He loves the moment when he can see a small flicker of self confidence spark to life inside of people. He loves people so much that he often feels his heart swelling with pride anytime he sees them succeed. These are the reasons that he is studying psychology, and why he runs an advice blog online.

He loves being a helper, most of the time.

Sometimes, however, it all gets to be too much. Sometimes he feels completely drained. The messages in his inbox cry out to him, little red notification bubbles catching his attention any time he goes online. He feels like he’s letting people down if he doesn’t respond to every single message. There’s no way that one person can help all of these people. How could he even think that he could?

As he stares at his overflowing inbox, he feels the bad thoughts creeping in, the same ones that his online following often tell him about. It’s tempting to just crawl into bed and let those demons torment him, to feel the suffering in the name of empathy, so that he can say that he understands how they feel. He is so tempted to let them bite at him, grab his ankles and pull him down into the depths of emotions that he knows are dangerous. But he is only tempted.

Sometimes he does give in, but today is not one of those days. Today he refuses to be a hypocrite. The truth is, he has been scaring himself recently. He has been angry, and he hasn’t been taking very good care of himself. It isn’t like him at all. “If you’re feeling low, sometimes you need to reach out to people who can help. That’s perfectly okay and healthy.” He has said that so many times before to other people, and it’s time for him to follow his own advice. 

He closes his laptop and stands up quickly, before he can change his mind. He tucks his phone into his back pocket and leaves his dorm room, locking the door behind him. Nerves bubble up in his stomach, little voices whisper that other people have their own problems, they’re probably overwhelmed too. They tell him that he’s just going to add to their stress too. How dare he relieve his own troubles by putting them onto other people? He, of all people, should know better.

He shakes his head roughly, shooing away the thoughts, and his hair falls over his eyes. He stops in front of his friend’s door, takes a deep breath and knocks. There is some shuffling inside before the door opens.

Logan leans against the door frame, “Patton? You look disheveled. Are you alright?”

Patton brushes his hair out of his face and forces a tight smile, “Hey, Teach. I’m okay, just kind of wanted some company. Are you busy?”

“I was typing up my notes, but I could certainly use a break. Come in.” He leaves the door open and returns to his desk. Patton slowly walks inside and closes the door behind him. 

He’s been in Logan’s room many times, but he still finds the interior interesting. Unlike most people, he keeps all of his past textbooks instead of selling them back to the school and they fill an entire bookshelf above his bed. Patton skims over the titles, a few of them the same textbooks that Patton himself has had, but Logan is a year ahead of him in classes. General Psychology, Abnormal Psychology, Neuroscience, and more. He turns and carefully sits down on the edge of the perfectly made bed, not wanting to wrinkle the black comforter.

Logan quickly finishes typing a sentence and saves the document before pushing down his laptop screen and rotating in his chair to face Patton. “You can tell me what’s wrong, if you’d like. You’re not your usual, upbeat self. But if you don’t want to talk about it that is, of course, fine too.”

One corner of Patton’s mouth tilts upward in a genuine smile. This is exactly why he knew he could come to Logan. He is always observant and kind. This is also part of why Patton’s heart races whenever he’s around his friend. Patton reaches over and grabs the small galaxy print pillow that he had bought for Logan a while ago to bring some color into the room. He hugs it tightly to his chest for some comfort. “I just… I feel like a bad person.”

Logan lifts an eyebrow in confusion. “Why do you feel like a bad person?”

“Because I’m ignoring people that need help.” Patton runs his fingers along the seam of the pillow and absentmindedly plays connect the dots with stars. 

“Is this about the advice blog that you run?” 

Patton nods.

“Patton, you help a lot of people. No single person can help that many people on their own.”

“That’s not the whole problem. I’m... I’m mad at them.” He looks up quickly, scrambling to explain himself, “I know that’s horrible. They need help and I should be able to help them. But they just keep coming back! And there just keeps getting to be more and more of them, and some of them don’t actually follow my advice and sometimes they don’t even say thank you!” He bows his head in shame, hiding behind the hair that falls over his glasses. “See? I’m a bad person.”

Logan sighs and stands, moving to sit down next to Patton. Their knees brush as Logan twists on the bed to face him. Patton braces himself for him to agree. “Have you heard of compassion fatigue?”

Patton looks up, surprised. “No. What’s that?”

“It happens a lot to therapists, doctors, and emergency first responders.” He says as he reaches over his head to grab one of the textbooks. He flips through the pages until he finds what he was looking for. He points out the phrase in bold print, and reads the definition aloud. “‘Compassion fatigue:  indifference to charitable appeals on behalf of those who are suffering, experienced as a result of the frequency or number of such appeals.’ In other words,  it is where people who help other people do it so often and to such an intense degree that they can’t keep it up anymore, and they become angry and bitter toward the people that they’re helping.”

Patton frowns. “That… doesn’t sound good.”

“No, it’s not.” Logan continues, “Symptoms include isolation, addiction, poor self-care, depression, and more.”

“How do you make it go away?” Patton asks, watching intently as Logan skims over the page to ensure his information is correct.

“Self-care, mostly. Taking breaks, getting enough sleep, and having hobbies that can change your mindset are all important.” Logan gently places a hand on Patton’s shoulder, “So is ensuring that you have a good support system. Have you ever talked to anyone else about this?”

“No, not really. I want to be the one that helps people, I don’t like to get in the way of people helping themselves unless it’s really bad.” Patton chews on the inside of his cheek, mulling over what Logan has said. “Maybe that isn’t the best idea.”

Logan’s face softens in a way that Patton rarely sees, and he feels his cheeks warm. “I know you want to save everyone, and that is truly admirable. But Patton, you can’t do it all on your own. Sometimes you’re not going to be able to carry it all yourself.”

“I know that, really. I just… I don’t like it! I want people to be safe and happy and okay.” Patton squishes the pillow tighter against his chest.

“Come here.” Logan wraps his arms around Patton’s shoulders and pulls him in close. Patton’s face is hot now with a blush that wraps around to the back of his neck. They have been friends for just over a year now, but Logan had never been a very physical person. This feeling is new, scary, and exciting. Patton’s breathing quickens as he circles his arms around Logan’s waist, feeling the muscles of his back through the soft fabric of his shirt. He’s warm and his breathing is incredibly calming. He feels the rumble of Logan’s voice in his chest as he speaks again, “If anyone can save the world, it’s you. You take care of everyone.” He pauses for a moment. “I would be honored if you let me take care of you.”

Patton pulls away, surprised. He stares into Logan’s eyes, seeing a hint of nervousness behind the stiff, professional expression that he puts on. Patton’s content smile grows into a beaming grin and he nods. “I would like that.”

Logan’s face softens again and he lets out a breath.

Patton reaches up and places both hands on Logan’s cheeks. “You’re so good to me, Lo.”

“I try,” he replies, blinking. His brown eyes stare into Patton’s with a warm intensity. “You deserve it.”

Patton can’t take it anymore. He pulls Logan in and presses their foreheads together, closing his eyes and hoping that he will close the distance. Their glasses bump together as the other’s lips meet his. 

The kiss is soft and sweet, and Patton’s hands move to lace his fingers together around the back of Logan’s neck, his thumbs rubbing gently below his ears. They break apart and lay back on the bed, his head resting on Logan’s chest. They lay there in comfortable silence for a little while before Patton speaks up again. “I think I’m going to post on my blog that I need to take a break.”

Logan hums. “That would be a good idea.”

“Thanks, Logan,” Patton whispers, nuzzling closer. “For everything.”

**Author's Note:**

> To any helpers out there, compassion fatigue is a very real thing. Remember the cliche saying, if the plane is going down, you have to put your mask on before helping others. It is so, so important to put yourself first with these things. You can’t truly help others when you’re struggling with compassion fatigue or other issues yourself. The best way to help others is to lead by example, and help when you are in a good mental place to do so! And if you don’t have a good support system, I am also a helper and you can message me if you need someone to listen. Love you guys!!!
> 
> I hope that you enjoyed this little oneshot. It's my first time writing Logicality so let me know what you think please! I might write more, who knows. I'm mostly a Prinxiety dweeb :)


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